Become a Programmer, Motherfucker!


Become a Programmer, Motherfucker!

Here is a new and revolutionary software development methodology: Programming, Motherfucker:

– How will we solve problems? By programming, motherfucker.

– How will we do testing? By programming, motherfucker.

– How will be complete tasks on time and under budget? By programming, motherfucker.

– How will we make sure the programmers are happy and doing their jobs? By programming, motherfucker.



And this new methodology has its community website: programming-motherfucker.com:

We are a community of motherfucking programmers who have been humiliated by software development methodologies for years.

We are tired of XP, Scrum, Kanban, Waterfall, Software Craftsmanship (aka XP-Lite) and anything else getting in the way of…Programming, Motherfucker.

We are tired of being told we’re autistic idiots who need to be manipulated to work in a Forced Pair Programming chain gang without any time to be creative because none of the 10 managers on the project can do… Programming, Motherfucker.

We must destroy these methodologies that get in the way of…Programming, Motherfucker.

And to become a fucking programmer, this fucking page is for you, with an impressive list of references and resources.


8 thoughts on “Become a Programmer, Motherfucker!”

  1. Reavenk

    I’m tempted to read it, but I don’t know how to explain myself at work if someone sees me at a site with so many F-bombs

  2. DS

    I fucking like it and will go fucking read that fucking page to see what fucking ideas those fuckers have!

  3. Wolfie

    I’ll be presenting this at the next team meeting.

    All we need to do now is kill all the project managers.

  4. Gair

    I’d really like to know *who* made this page and if they *really* have any experience working in a team on a larger piece of software.
    Sounds more like some cowboy coder kid who is intimidated by all the overhead of team management that is simply EXISTS, and no amount of “fucking programming” will get rid of it.
    Also, someone who manages a team of software engineers is very likely an experienced engineer himself, so if he applies some existing methodology to it, *maybe* there is a good reason for it. Read up on XP and why pair-programming is not a bad idea and what actual PROBLEMS it tries to solve. If your answer to this is “just do more programming!” then you probably haven’t really thought about it too well.

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